WHAT IF BOARD GAMES WERE POLITICALLY CORRECT?

WHAT IF BOARD GAMES WERE POLITICALLY CORRECT?


Is it woke af or woke A F? SHUT UP! *dinging noise* *relaxing music* Hey, chess, is a great game for kids, right? WRONG, it perpetuates racist ideoligies. Pinning black against white. Trapping children in a neverending black hole of ignorance and hate. But we’re going to change that. I’m WOKE *Echoing* and I’m WOKE *Echoing again* and we’re the creators of…WOKE GAMES! *Air horns* That’s right, we’re here to woke up all your favorite games. For instance, our version of chess is no longer a race war… *piano playing* [Boy] Hey, that’s my piece. Are you sure? *music stops* Uhhh… *PUNCH NOISE FOR EVERY WORD* I don’t know. I don’t see color. WOKE *Echo* *Kids cheering* We all know “The Game of Life” was designed for and by cis white males. But GUESS WHAT WHITE MEN! We don’t all start in the same place and we don’t all have the same opportunities. In order to even a playing field for minorities, I have to start ten spaces ahead as my socio-economic status makes it more difficult for me to move forward. WOKE *echos* *kids cheering* You may be thinking: “Some games are already woke. Mr. Potato Head could be anything he wants. All you have to do is switch out the pieces.” But have you ever thought, maybe this potato doesn’t identify as a man? And maybe they’re not a head. Thats why we’re introducing: Genderfluid Root Vegetable Now with five thousand inter-changeable pieces for maximum fluidity. You’re probably saying, there’s no way you could make all games woke. Yes we can, and Yes WE DID. What about the game UNO? UNO is cultural appropriation for the Spanish language. So now, it’s ONE. Chutes and Ladders? It’s now: Chutes and
Handicap Accessible Ramps. What about Hungry Hungry Hippos? Properly Cared for and Nutritionally Healthy Animals. Battleship? Friendship. Oh, and Settlers of Catan? Indigenous People Fighting to Keep Their Land of Q’ATAN! (KAH HA TAN) And we’re even taking on the most offensive game of all: BOP IT Which is obviously a government funded conspiracy to promote rape culture. You can’t just “bop” something without asking for consent first. [Game] Bop it! May I please bop it? [Game] Yes! You are allowed to bop it. Yeah! Twist it! *Wrench sound* You did not ask for consent. Administering pepper spray! *screams* Ahh! My eyes! Yay I win! Thanks Woke Games! [Game] Don’t rape! You can buy Woke Games at this Sunday’s Norton County Farmers Market at stall 22 between the crystals and Lisa’s homemade soaps. Soaps that Lisa has made at home. Open from 10 to 2, but closed from 10:15 to 1:45 for spiritual meditation. Hey guys thank you so much for subscribing. To see behind the scenes footage and bloopers from this video, click the box on the left. And click the box on the right to see our video “If Board Games Were Real” And as always, thank you, thank you, we love you 🙂

100 thoughts on “WHAT IF BOARD GAMES WERE POLITICALLY CORRECT?

  1. Anthony’s shirt said:
    I WOKE up like this
    Wealthy Oppressors Kill Earth
    We Obey Killers Everyday
    War On unchecKed Economy
    Wall street Objectifies Knowledge Evolution

  2. I have a game of chess where the pieces are glass and it's transparent vs translucent/opaque (not sure which, I haven't played it in a while)

  3. Woke Monopoly — all properties are worth the same and monopolies are just not allowed. Take that Uncle Moneybags!

  4. You made uno politically incorrect, by forcing every one to use the English word and making it unacceptable to use a word from another language.

  5. The two kids 30 years later
    At a mental hospital and the two woke guys like: I d0Nť see 4 ProB HEr3
    (Really enjoyed,10/10 would recommend cute)

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