Trump Pressures Ukraine to Investigate Biden & Impeachment Looms | The Daily Show

Donald J. Trump. Once again, the president of the
United States is in big trouble. ANNOUNCER:
NBC News special report. Good afternoon, everyone.
We’re coming on the air in this busy news day
with breaking news, an announcement
from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of a formal impeachment inquiry
into President Donald Trump. Today, I’m announcing
the House of Representatives moving forward with
an official impeachment inquiry. The actions taken to date
by the president have seriously violated
the Constitution. The president
must be held accountable. No one is above the law. Holy crap. (cheering and applause) It’s finally happening? After two years of avoiding it, Trump may finally face
articles of impeachment, which, believe me,
he is not happy about. It’s impeachment,
which Trump hates, plus articles,
which he hates even more. Yeah. If his mom ever caught him
with a Playboy magazine, he’d be like, “I swear,
I’m not reading the articles– just looking at the boobs.” And if you thought Trump was… (coughs):
unhinged before, I can’t even imagine
what he’s gonna be like now. Like, he’s been crazy. Can you imagine
what he’s gonna be like now? You better keep your kids away
from Twitter, people, ’cause this thing is gonna be
a Category 5 tweet storm. And this one will hit Alabama. (cheering and applause) But… but how did we get here? And what does it all mean? Well, let’s find out
in our brand-new segment, The Full Story. -♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause) So, how did Donald Trump
land himself on the road to impeachment? Well, it all started last week, with a mysterious report
from a whistleblower. ANNOUNCER:
This is CNN breaking news. And we do begin
with that breaking news. CNN has learned that President
Trump had a communication with a foreign leader
that was so troubling to one
U.S. intelligence official that they filed
a whistleblower complaint. The Washington Post reports
this involved a promise. It is not known
who the whistleblower is or who the foreign leader is. Yes. It was so exciting. Trump had a mysterious phone
call with a foreign leader, and everyone was wondering
what it could be. Did he promise Kim Jong-un
that he could use his Netflix password? Or did he promise Vladimir Putin a role in the next
Fast and Furious movie? We didn’t know. The even more exciting question
was who is the whistleblower. ‘Cause it could be anybody. Except Mike Pence. Oh, because he doesn’t believe
in blowing things. Yeah. Mother… Mother says the mouth
is for prayer. Nothing else. He doesn’t even blow out
birthday candles. He just uses a fire extinguisher
on the cake. “In the name of Jesus, I extinguish
these tiny wax penises.” So, the breaking news was that someone
in the intelligence community had reported Trump
for doing something shady with a foreign leader,
and it didn’t take long for the details to come out. WOMAN: President Trump has been
accused of threatening to hold back military aid
to the Ukraine if leaders there fail to investigate former
Vice President Joe Biden. MAN: The president pushed
eight times for an investigation
into Joe Biden. At the time of the call, the Trump administration
was withholding $250 million in military aid to Ukraine that
Congress had already approved. Yeah, this is huge. Donald Trump is accused of holding back military aid
approved by Congress for Ukraine unless they helped him
dig up dirt on Joe Biden, which, if true,
would be devastating. It’s an abuse of power,
it’s extortion, and maybe worst of all,
it’s asking a foreign country to meddle in America’s election.
Yeah. Which is one thing,
that if you were Donald Trump, you should stay away from,
right? ‘Cause they’d just beaten
the Russia case. It would be like
if the day after Michael Jackson got acquitted
of touching kids, he was like, “Let’s celebrate! Slumber party at my house!” (laughter) And as bad as it is for America, think about what it felt like
for Ukraine. These guys are
in the middle of a war, fighting off Russian invasion,
right? And now, because of Trump, they
have to deal with this shit? Can you imagine them
on the battlefield just like, “Comrade, Comrade,
we need more ammunition!” He’s like… (coughing) “What do you mean–
more ammunition? No more bullets until
we dig up dirt on Joe Biden!” He’s like, “Biden?
Didn’t they see the clip “where he forgot Obama’s name? He’s burying himself!” (laughter) So… (laughter) (applause and cheering) (coughs) So, this was a pretty damning
accusation against Donald Trump, because using the power
of the presidency for your own political gain is
about as bad as it gets, but according to Trump,
he ain’t done shit. WOMAN:
Mr. Trump dismissing the report as “presidential harassment,”
tweeting… That call was perfect.
It couldn’t have be nicer. And even the Ukrainian
government put out a statement that that was a perfect call. Yes, yes, yes. According to the Donald,
he did nothing wrong in his dealings with Ukraine. In fact,
they had a perfect call. (laughter) And, uh, can I be honest? I think he’s lying. (laughter) You know why? ‘Cause there’s no such thing
as a perfect call. Something always goes wrong. That’s why we text, right? There’s always something wrong
with a call. Either the phone’s cutting out, or you’re talking over
each other, or you tell them you love them,
and then, there’s just silence. It’s always something. And here’s another reason
I think he’s lying. If Trump has nothing to hide,
and he did nothing wrong, then why is he doing this? WOMAN: The Trump administration
is facing a Thursday deadline to hand over the complaint
to Congress, as is required by law. MAN: The president
is digging in his heels as the White House is blocking
the release of a whistleblower complaint
to Congress. Apparently, about
a conversation Mr. Trump had with a foreign leader
that raised red flags with an administration
official. Okay, you got to admit
that’s hella suspicious. Why is Trump breaking the law
to prevent Congress from seeing
the whistleblower’s report? He must be up
to something shady. Or maybe he just said something
really embarrassing on those calls, you know? Maybe it was like,
“Okay, great. “Well, it was nice
talking to you. “Oh, and by the way, “if I drink anything
after 8:00 p.m., I wet the bed. Bye-bye! Bye!” (laughter, applause) So,
despite a unanimous vote today from Democrats and Republicans
in the Senate to release
the whistleblower’s report, Trump and his people are trying
to block it at all costs. But the one silver lining
of any Trump scandal is that if you just wait
long enough, eventually, he’ll just spill the beans
himself. The conversation I had
was largely congratulatory, was largely corruption, all
of the corruption taking place, was largely the fact
that we don’t want our people, like Vice President Biden
and his son, creating to the-the corruption
already in the Ukraine. There was no pressure
put on them whatsoever, but there was pressure put on
with respect to Joe Biden. What Joe Biden did for his son–
that’s something -they should be looking at.
-(overlapping shouting) Okay, we all… we all…
we all heard that, right? Trump just said
there was no pressure, except for the pressure
to get dirt on Biden. That’s the only pressure
we’re talking about! (laughter, applause) That’s not a defense.
That’s an admission! That’s like Scar going, “Whoa,
whoa, whoa, I’m not a murderer. “I haven’t killed anyone
other than Mufasa. “In fact, he’s the one
you should be looking into. “What kind
of parent allows their child to run around with warthogs?” And in case you’re wondering,
in case you’re wondering, Trump’s claim is that while
Joe Biden was vice president, he pressured Ukraine
to fire their top prosecutor because he was investigating
a Ukrainian company that Biden’s son was
a board member of. That’s the story.
Now, there’s no evidence that supports
Trump’s accusation. But even it did–
even if it did– it wouldn’t negate
that Donald Trump abused the power of his office to try and dig up dirt
on a political opponent. So, that’s the full story. Ukraine, Trump,
impeachment, Hunter Biden. But there’s still one key piece
of the puzzle that’s missing. The whistleblower’s complaint. The spark that
has started this blaze. And if Trump refuses
to hand it over, we need to get it
some way or another. And thanks to Lenny Kravitz,
we have the perfect solution. (laughter) If you have
the whistleblower report, please, we need you
to e-mail it to… (cheering)

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