The Bachelor Game: Is She A Lauren or Not?
Salutations. Okay, we’re barely two weeks
into the new year, and while the threat of an
all-out nuclear war looms over us like a dark storm cloud
on a cold winter’s day, there’s one thing
we could all excited about! – “The Bachelor” is back!
– Yay! Now, last week
on the premiere episode, Bachelor Arie Luyendyk, Jr.–
that’s quite a name. – Uh–
– Lion? – What?
– Luyendyk. Like a–
no, deck. – Okay.
– Luyendyk, like a deck – of lions.
– Got it. – Not a–
– Like a card game. – Yes.
– Got it. He met 29 contestants vying for his hand
in marriage, and four of those contestants
are named Lauren.It’s time for…– Four?
– Four. Are named Lauren. Yeah, that’s 13.79% Lauren. – Wow, that’s good math, Rhett.
– Okay, so this is– This is the perfect thing
for a game for you, Link. ‘Cause what we’re gonna do,
is I’m going to show you – a contestant, a young lady.
– Uh-huh. I have not seen
any bachelorettes. – Right. Contestants.
– Or “Bachelor” contestants. And then I’m going to give you
a little information, and you’re just trying to guess
whether or not this is a Lauren – or not a Lauren, okay?
– Okay. And if you get
four of these right, you get a special,
special prize. Now, just because I told you I
haven’t watched “The Bachelor,” that usually means
I’ve watched “The Bachelor,” ’cause that’s
what people say. “I don’t watch it.
My girlfriend watches it.” My wife and I watch it. – I mean, we’re–
– I have not watched it, though. We haven’t even– I haven’t seen
the premiere episode this year, – but–
– You’re behind, okay. I’m planning on watching it
at some point. – Mmm-kay.
– Okay. Here’s our first contestant.This contestant
is a 27-year-oldpersonal stylist
from Lawton, Oklahoma.She has it all:
beauty, a sense of humor,
and confidence.In fact,
she’s so confidentshe admits that she listens
to the band Nickelback.Is this a Lauren
or not a Lauren? So, if you admit that,
you’re confident? Or you’re just–
it’s folly. This is just the information
that they provided. Now, um– Don’t ask me too many
questions about it. I– I know my Laurens, because my half sister’s
name is Lauren. Correct. Her other half is Nicole. Uh-huh. – Just a bad joke.
– Yeah. Um, first half is
not a joke, though. – Yep, right.
– Looking deep into her eyes I cannot tell
if that’s a Lauren, but if I look deep into that
necklace around her neck, that does not
say Lauren. It says, like,
something like Tear Kitty, which is her name. – Tear, tear–
– This is not a Lauren. – This is a Tear Kitty.
– Tear Kitty. Uh, you’re right.
It’s not a Lauren. It’s not Tear Kitty,
it’s Ali. – Ali. Okay.
– Yeah. And fun fact
about that necklace.It’s actually
holding her head on.– It like that’s the–
– Yeah, that’s– – That’s the point
where it disconnects.
– That’s how she– – That’s how she keeps
her head on.
– She’s robotic. Gosh. Okay, next we have
25-year-old tech sales personfrom Virginia Beach,
Virginia.She hates it
when her date texts at dinner.So, don’t do that,
because she also hasa second-degree black belt
in Taekwondo.– Ooh snap, Lauren!
– Is this a Lauren or not a Lauren? She wearing
a bathing suit? It could be a dress.
Why do you care? Because if it’s a bathing suit
then her name is Lauren. It is a bathing suit, and her name is Lauren. I don’t know
if it’s a bathing suit. But her name is Lauren! It is a bathing suit! This is actually
Lauren B.And that is a swimsuit.Her dream activity
in the fantasy suiteis learning
what her last name is. Oh, so that’s–
her last name is not– They call them by the letter. – Oh, okay, okay.
– That’s how they do it
on the show. – So you can’t Google ’em,
– You’d know if you watched it. and then find
where they live and show up
and give them a rose. I’m sure
you could figure it out. Our next contestant
is a 30-year-oldexecutive assistant
from Miami, Florida.She’s a former cheerleader
for the Miami Dolphins,who hates football
and sharks,but loves dancing
and popping pimples.Is this a Lauren
or not a Lauren?Is a dolphin a shark
all of a sudden? So confusing. I think
she’s maybe confused. Uh, no, her hair
is not blond. Uh, that’s true.
It’s a– I would say
that’s almost black. That’s brunette
bordering on black. Right, which is– which is very refreshing
at this point in the game. – Yeah, right.
– Um… she is a Lauren. I feel it. Okay. – Is she Lauren?
– She’s not a Lauren! She’s a Bibiana! – Bibiana?
– Bibiana. Interestingly– But translated into French – that’s Lauren.
– No. That’s not true, but, interestingly, there are
actually six Bibianas this year. Yeah, so it’s really
not that– – Nothing special about her.
– All right, two outta three. – Let’s push it.
– Okay. This next contestant
is a 26-year-oldexecutive recruiter
from Indianapolis, Indiana.She loves the TV show
“This is Us,”but she hates going
to the grocery storebecause there’s
too many options!Is this a Lauren
or not a Lauren?Again, this is the information
that they provided. Too many options,
it’s overwhelming. Lots of options
with “This is Us,” too. Lots of characters.
Too many options, – that’s why I don’t
watch “This is Us.”
– Yeah, right. – I’m all one character.
– Usually. I watch one-man plays. Only. She is a Lauren. John Lithgow has one
of those. When your head goes
back like that, you got Lauren written
all over you. Link, you’re right!
It is a Lauren. – Right.
– This is Lauren G. But truth be told,
we don’t know if it’s pronounced Lauren G.
or Lauren Guh. – But it doesn’t–
– We, we don’t know. But it doesn’t matter
because she’s been eliminated. All right.
Aw, she’s been eliminated? – Yeah, Link you’ve had–
– That’s ’cause her body
was getting so far in front of her face. Uh, you’ve got three
out of four. – All you gotta do is
get one more right,
– Yes! – and you win
a special prize.
– Yes! Up next we have
31-year-oldsocial media manager
from Dallas, Texas.– Social media management.
– She loves Taylor Swift,“Harry Potter,” avocados,
and the theater.– In fact, she loves–
– Pace yourself, girl. She loves the theater
so much she said,“If I got to see “Hamilton,”
I’d die.”She is enthusiastic. Is this a Lauren
or not a Lauren? Now what does her necklace say
and is it holding her head on? I don’t think– I think
this is a normal necklace. – I don’t believe this is a–
– I think it has an H on it. HaLauren. Her name is HaLauren. So, she is not a Lauren. There’s an H in front of it,
a silent H. This is a Lauren. This is Lauren S. And fun fact,in this photo she’s
actually doing Kegels.I don’t know
how to respond. Also, don’t know
what that is. Just, uh–
just, uh, I mean,
just look at her. – Makes sense.
– I’ve been looking at her.This is a 27-year-old publicist
from Prior Lake, Montana.Her favorite movies are
“Pitch Perfect,”– “Sister Act 2,”
– Yes.– Skip right
to the best, girl.
– and “Gladiator.”She couldn’t live
without bobby pins,popcorn, or stamps.I cannot live
without bobby pins.Is this a Lauren
or not a Lauren?Is bobby pins what’s holding
that knot that’s a dress up? Dress up. You spend a lot
of time on the– – Context clues, man.
– On the clothing. – Uh–
– I don’t know if that’s
a bathing suit or not. Man, I’ve lost track
of how many Laurens– There’s four Laurens. Have you shown me four Laurens? Is this just a red herring? Is her name red
or herring? She looks so dazed. Just like, “How many pictures
are you gonna take of me?” You know, you can tell
in her eyes. She’s like,
“I made a big mistake – being on this show.”
– Is she a Lauren
or not a Lauren, Link? Lauren, yes. No, this is Becca K.! Becca’s got her dress
on backwards! She looks like someone
who would ask to hold your baby. I don’t know why that’s funny. Can I please
hold your baby, and runaway with it
very fast? Okay, Link, come on.
You got one more chance! – Yes!
– One–This is a 27-year-old
recent master’s graduatefrom New Roads,
Louisiana.She loves her mama,
porch swings–her mama’s named
Porch Swings–and mascara.Her guilty pleasure is
putting a towel over her bodyand eating a whole pizza
in bed.Oh, that makes me
feel guilty, too. Man, this girl ain’t
even ever seen a pizza. Look at those shoulders.Okay, is this a Lauren
or not a Lauren?Yes. Abso-freakin-lutley. No doubt in my mind,
that is a Lauren. Ding, ding, ding.
Link, you’re correct! – This is Lauren J.!
– J.! Unfortunately,
she didn’t make it past the first round of cuts
but that’s okay, ’cause she can just cry
into her body towel. Link, will you accept
this rose? What are the ramifications? You can do anything
you want to with it. Oh, cool. I’ll take it
and I’ll put it– That’s what–
That’s what the girls do. – Put it–
– They find– – Put it in their hair.
– They find a place to put it. All right. I’m honored and I’m definitely
gonna watch this show now. Thank you for liking,
commenting and subscribing. You know what time it is. – I’m Jessica.
– I’m Charles. And this is
Charles Lincoln. And we’re
from Portland, Oregon. Both:
And it’s time to spin
the Wheel of Mythicality. They named that kid
Charles Lincoln. – That’s perfect!
– Should’ve been Rhett James, but click the bottom link to watch the episode
from the beginning. And click the top link
to find out, um, this biscuit situation that we went through
earlier today. And to eat the ultimate biscuit
that has been created. And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality
is going to land. Link:
Bag a “Buddy System” poster
for your bare wallat mythical.store.