CGRundertow THE KING OF FIGHTERS XII for Xbox 360 Video Game Review

CGRundertow THE KING OF FIGHTERS XII for Xbox 360 Video Game Review

The more things change, the more they they
the same. Unless they change too much, in which case a line has bee crossed and there’s
hell to pay. While everyone complains constantly about samey and overplayed tropes, the moment
something goes a little off the rails, all of those complaints fall away in a chorus
of THEY CHANGED IT NOW IT SUCKS. Behold, The King of Fighters XII: the scion of one of
the most storied lineages in the pantheon of punching. Twelve games down the road, it’s
time for a change. Not so drastic as Maximum Impact, though; we’ll stay in 2D, thank
you very much. But let’s shake things up. Wait, Wait. Wait. Hold the phone. Hold the
no longer a Mario sound phone. The hell’s up with arcade mode? Time trials? TIME TRIALS?
This isn’t a race, it’s a fighting game! Who cares how long it takes you to win, so
long as you win! But no, the traditional story-infused arcade mode – a series of fights, maybe some
banter interspersed between rounds – is out the second-story window, in favor of a series
of five three-on-three bouts, with time of the essence. So essential, in fact, that you
can re-fight each bout once just to try to improve your time. I know! What the hell’s
all that about? Of course, your reward for impressive time is: achievements. And that’s
about it. Awright. We might be able to tolerate the
weird arcade mode, because it’s for head-to-head fighting and anyone playing against the computer
is antisocial and afraid of laying it on the line online. Wait. The online’s crappy too?
And no one plays it? Well, scrap that. Back to the arcade mode! I suppose we can make
the best of MY LIFE WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO SPEAK ENGLISH. Honestly, there’s a reason
I’m not a Shonen Knife fan, and they’ve hit the nail on the head. Sure, you dub the
entire cast, but not the NEWSCAST. I’m beginning to lose faith. At least the graphics are…
Huge and extremely pixellated. And man, does Kim look pissed. He’s supposed to be a warrior
of justice! The feet that destroy evil with a single kick! That just looks like he had
a particularly dicey burrito and he needs a caplet. Not to mention those French people
indulging their gluttony behind him. Because that’s exactly what this game needed, some
racial stereotypes. Man, even then, the backgrounds look infinitely better than the characters.
This may be the only fighting game where cornering your foe has the side-effect of making them
almost impossible to see, thanks to overenthusiastic shadow effects. This isn’t a D&D game, my
opponents shouldn’t get STEALTH ROLLS. So. The graphics are large, not particularly
good, and obfuscated by their own overzealous effects, the vocals are grating, the online
is a barren wasteland of irrepsonsive, and the offline is a right abomination. I’d
say there’s a reason this game never made the impact of, say, Super Street Fighter 4
or BlazBlue, but I seem to have given closer to half a dozen. Heck, it doesn’t even come
with a series-retrospective soundtrack. No extras, no story, no character information,
nothing. Oh well. Even the best series have their missteps. So here it is, the Hotel Mario
of King of Fighters. The Mystic Quest of KoF. Walk away. Just walk away, return to your
Street Fighters and Guilty Gears and tireless countdowns to the release of Skullgirls. Or,
heck, just play KOF XIII. That’s fine too.

18 thoughts on “CGRundertow THE KING OF FIGHTERS XII for Xbox 360 Video Game Review

  1. Instead of reviewing the better game you manage to waste 4 minutes, damn your a troll trying to get a reaction on a game that everyone knows its garbage, you are no better than ign

  2. …If that was a reference to Final Fantasy Mystic Quest, then you obviously lack taste. It's a great game for beginners. But I couldn't agree more that this fighting game… is less than sub-par.

  3. I like the Moral Gamer's review better.

    Still, KoF12 was amazing. Yes Arcade mode sucked, but the fighting engine keeps getting better and better. I've been a fan since Fatal Fury (the original KoF tournament).

  4. Scrub reviewing a fighting game, what a joke. Learn to actually PLAY the game before reviewing it, you're definitely missing the whole point of fighting games if you believe story mode is important at all.

  5. i was relatively disappointed. The only way you can have any fun with this game is if you're playing player vs player with friends who get way excited about games. I really hoped for more

  6. They dub the playable characters but a news reporter speaks Japanese English? Weird.

    Also I love the deep shadow effects.

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