Call of Duty 15 : Black Ops 4
[Dunk] Check out my Black Ops Roomba®, brother! Here we go! Ooh!
It got someone- Welcome to Black Ops, motherfucker! (Laughs) Look at this roster! They have all of my favorite Black Ops characters like Ruin. [Ruin] “About fucking time!” [Dunk] Black Ops Bill… back in the building! [Ruin] “shrekt” [Dunk] Hell yeah! [Game] “Death from above” Roomba online… There’s a guy–
(laughs) (laughs) (breathes) Black Ops. [Dick Marcinko] “Rock’N’Roll, Motherfuckers!
(Mickey Rourke, Rogue Warrior) (Dunkey laughs) [Dunk] Got him again… Black Ops. (chuckle) Oh!
No, no, no… Black Ops. Shit. Black Op-
There we go- Look who is stupid this time. Welcome to Black Op- What-
What? WHOA! Where did you get a helicopter? [Dunk] Oh, “E” is… WHY IS “E” GRENADE?!
[Fluppy] “Yeah, I have- I have a bunch of them.” [Dunk] Go!
Fluppy, go! Go! Go! God- [“Santa”] “HO HO HO HO HO HO!”
(Dunkey Laughs) “Merry Christmas, Jason!” [Dunk] It’s Santa. Oh my god- [“Santa”] “HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!” “BLACK OPS SUCKS BIG DICK!” “HO HO HO HO HO HO!”
(Dunkey Laughs) [Sterling] “The line…”
(Dunkey humming with the Harlem Globetrotters’ Theme Song) “Ow!”
(Dunkey humming with the Harlem Globetrotters’ Theme Song) “Oh, I got it!”
(Dunkey humming with the Harlem Globetrotters’ Theme Song) [Dunk] ♪ Wah, bah, bah, bah ♪
(Still humming) Yeah. (Sterling screams) [Sterling] “Sliding!” [Dunk] Woo! ♪ Wah, bah, beh. Bah, beh… ♪
(Still humming) Bam! ♪ Beh, bah ♪ [Sterling] “Ow!
You fucker!” [Dunk] Pass me the ball.
I’m open! Oh! (They’re laughing) Hey!
Anybody in here got Black Ops?! (Teammate chuckles) [Teammate] Yeah… (Someone laughs) [Dunk] Got us a dog… Dog… Doggy offline. Oh!
It’s another dog! It’s another one! AH! (Laughs) “Did you have fun this match?” No. Wait a minute! Now I’m havin’ fun. Yeah! Here we-
Here we go. Now it’s a good game!
This is- We were playing Black Ops with the real Santa. [Fluppy] “Yeah.
That was a rare opportunity” “To ask for a…” “…pair of fang.”
(unintelligible) [Dunk] Did you just say
“Ask for a pair of FANGS”? [Fluppy] No. ♪ Harlem Globetrotters’ Theme Song ♪ [Dunkey] One! Do I see two? Ooh!
Two! Do I see three? Three. Anybody? Where is he? There. (Laughs) Hey! What is the meaning of this? Gimme- Thi-
This is my spot! Gimme- Hey! Get out- Get out of here!
This is my spot. One. (Laughs) Eh! Two. Three. Oh, yeah-
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Four! (Laughs) Uh-oh! [music stops] You got me. Now, Fluppy. When I-
When he gets you- No! No! When he gets you up, don’t shoot. I can see you shoot, before you can get- No! I can- I can see you shooting before you can get up. No! No! [Woaz] “Me and you.
Let’s just hide here for a while.” “Let’s wait this one out.” [Dunk] I got a molotov.
They come in here… …fucking…
throw it on the floor… fucking kill us all! (Leah and Woa laughs) [Woaz] “All right!
I like the way you think” “but-
Uh…” [Dunk] Spider-man! Whee… (Laughs)
♪ Spider-Man theme song ♪ (1967 TV Show) Whee…
(Laughs) Check this out.
[music stops] Underwater kill. Ooh! OOH! Overwatch kill! Whee…
♪ Spider-Man ♪ [music stops] (Laughs) I’m on a sneak mission. Take it-
Hey! Hey! Thank you! Now… I can complete my mission-
(Laughs) Who’s next, huh? I beat all the Black Ops. Ha! Shit.
Wait! That’s a bad guy.
(Laughs) [Game] “Threat neutralized” [Dunk] Wait a minute.
Do you hear that? ♪ “Spider-Man theme song” approaches ♪ Spider-Man!
[music stops] Ooh!
Let’s try the SMG. ♪ Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah ♪
(Humming with the Harlem Globetrotters’ Theme Song again) ♪ Bi, Ba, Bu ♪
(Humming with the Harlem Globetrotters’ Theme Song again) ♪ Bah! ♪ ♪ Ba, bam, ba, bam ♪ ♪ bah, bah, bah ♪ ♪ bam, bah, bah ♪ (I think you get the idea) ♪ bom, bah, bah ♪ ♪ bi, ba, bim ♪ ♪ boo ♪ (Laughs)
[music stops] Okay!
Now, let’s try the assault rifle. ♪ “A Place to Call Home (theme)” (The Place I’ll Return to Someday) – Final Fantasy IX OST ♪ [Gamespot] “Overall, time-to-kill is still low, which ensures matches don’t stagnate.”
[music stops] [music resumes]
♪ “A Place to Call Home (theme)” – Final Fantasy IX OST ♪ Come on!
[music stops] Die! Now he’s healing… Oh-
There he is with full- Oh my god! *sigh* Here he is!
There- Tha- Oh-
That’s it! I’m coming ov- Let’s do an experiment. How many headshots does it take? One… Two.. Three… Four… Four headshots with the assault rifle to get a kill. Fucking piece of shi- Now this is more like it! (Laughs) Kill everybody… and don’t take… ANY damage. It’s-
and it’s balanced… ’cause you get kill streaks for getting kills with it. You see them through the wall! Too easy! Fucking dog… Why is your emblem vampire fangs with a bunch of goat stickers around it? [Fluppy] “My account got hacked” [Dunk] Look at our dog!
It’s stuck in the container. [Leah] “My dog?” (Dunkey and Sterling laugh) “Oh, my dog!” [Dunk] Piece of crap!
[Sterling] -Get out of there little dude! [Dunk] Get- Heeeey!
(Sterling laughs) Uh-oh! That guy’s got a shield. Only one way to face this guy… Come on! You wanna go?! Huh?! I’ve been playing Black Ops ever since Vietnam. (?)
(the music and gunshots are too loud) That’s when- [Gamespot] “Overall, time-to-kill is still low, which ensures matches don’t-” [Dunk] Come get me! I’m camping with mines!
(Laughs) Fucking BLACK OOOPS! (Laughs) Man up! There we- (Laughs) OH, SHIT! I think they’re onto my spot! BLACK OPS! BLACK OPS!
(Laughs) ♪ Spider- ♪ (Dunkey laughs) [OUTRO]
♪ “Sweet Georgia Brown” – Brother Bones ♪
(Harlem Globetrotters’ Theme Song)